Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Pig's Revenge: Kicking Good Story to the Curb


CRASH! Cries of pain! Furniture breaks. (Rats - the RT girls are going kill me for breaking the furninture. Sorry ladies, I'll replace it!)

Miss Piggy just clobbered unsuspecting Good Story. She’s jealous over his affair with Creativity.

Stop it! I mean it - keep it up and Bacon is on the menu!

Poor Good Story, did that hurt? I looked like it hurt. 

Good Story is now on the outside looking in. He has a choice to either fight with the dog over who sleeps in the dog house or hitchhike to nowhere in the middle of winter, and because Miss Piggy didn’t toss out all of his stuff, he’s half-naked, cold and deciding he liked it a lot better in your warm comfy home listening to the wonderful sound of the fingers burning up the keyboard.

Not long after gaining his freedom, Good Story is in trouble again. You fight with this flighty unsubstantial...thing and he just gives you attitude. You thought ridding the world of the Prentender Prince Marketability would make things easier?

You silly writer you! It's only going to get harder. So you and I both need to work just as hard as before. The gatekeeper is no longer the publishing industry but ourreader. Good Story is your ally but if you don't learn your craft, if you don't better your knowledge, you'll be right back in that proverbial slush-pile. And this one we create on our own.

I told you if you didn't watch her, Miss Piggy would kick ass. But now Good Story got hit where it hurts, and his fragile pride is wounded. What is it with that male vanity thing? They’re all so pitiful when life turns around and bites them in the ass. They’re like little kids – absolutely lost. Ego has led him into ruin and now he’s in trouble.

Bringing the human condition, an emotion or character flaw that allows the reader to relate to your hero and/or heroine (preferably both) is a must and even if you do that, we still have that the diva Miss Piggy is in residence. Good Story is homeless. What do we do now?

We tell Creativity to get off her ass and do her damn job! She’s kicking it with her feet up, eating all your chocolate (that she can pry away from Miss Piggy) and becoming dead weight. The best thing to do is get the guard dogs up again, Research and Knowledge. Make sure Knowledge doesn’t forget that little pup named Craft. He’s cute and cuddly, a fluffy ball of fur and if you don’t think he’s important Good Story will have to wage war without armor and sword. 

That fluffy little pup guards Good Story’s armor like Fenris guard’s Odin’s bridge. So don’t forget Good Story's his armor. The poor guy has suffered enough, and he's been through a lot after being held hostage for so long in the dank dungeon of the Corporate giant maybe we should cut him some slack.

Not yet.

You see, Good Story let his ego get the best of him. Well, he can easily become intrusive and disruptive to our reader. Good Story can shout so loudly he draws all the attention, the reader suddenly sees where hard work put him into the work and made him stay. 

Good Story is always appreciated, but not when he’s waving flags and screaming at the reader. Subtlety is required to craft a story, themes must be woven delicately, techniques such as foreshadowing, scene and sequel, must work for the good of the whole but not be obvious to the reader. When the Reader sees Good Story and he becomes a nuisance, the reader grows more tempted to sick Miss Piggy on him again. At least she’s entertaining. Good Story when he demands attention is an alpha male who is a real ass. He’s the annoying drunk at the party. People just want him to sit down and shut up.

The guard dogs come in handy,Knowledge brings Good Story to heel, so Good Story is once again the polite hero everyone loves. No Good Story, you’re not THE hero of the novel, that is a character and you need to stop hogging the spotlight. You are what brings the true hero to life. But only if you get out of the way and do your job!

So the dogs growl and Good Story decides to behave. He’s really not a bad sort, he’s just free spirited and difficult to contain. That’s what makes him such a challenge. You know the saying, if it was easy everyone would do it. Good Story has a reputation to uphold, that's why he's a PITA. He’s a fast bugger; you think you have him and there he goes, running amok again. It takes a lot of practice to deal with him, lots of patience, and lots of herding. When he starts to take off, ya gotta catch him and bring back where he belongs. I swear, he’s like a little kid and if you don’t watch him like a hawk, the next thing you know he’s in the middle of the street with a car trying to run him over.

Duct tape! Too bad that doesn't work on him. You know he's pushing your buttons when you actually consider allowing the car to run him down.

No! Don’t let him get killed! Creativity will never forgive you. Well, Creativity, get off your ass and help me! You little BLEEEEEEEEEEP! Sheesh! Sometimes both of y’all are more trouble than you’re worth. My real kids don’t get away with the shit y’all do. Behave or someone is getting a time out (or better yet, I’ll sick Miss Piggy on somebody!) Got it?

Good! Now we are going to keep working here. So let’s get with it, Good Story and Creativity. Grab the dogs – don’t forget the pup. We have work to do and a story to write! And Miss Piggy if you don't behave to I will cook me some bacon! ;)

Thank you so much for enduring through this long series, I appreciate your patience and hope you realize this was all meant in fun, a satryr poking mostly at me - the trained monkey who jumped through those hoops never understood why good stories wouldn't sell.

I find it interesting when Creativity grabbs her Wonder Woman costume along with that golden lasso of truth and takes off. I don't know who is in control because it's certainly not me. This doesn't happen very often so I try to let it run where it will until it's done. I've discovered some intriguing suprises. I try different writing styles I've never tried before, I addreess subjects in competely news ways, it's suprising and refreshing and infrequent. So I try to go with it when I can and hope I don't make others miserable.

This article series is what resulted. A very tongue in cheek visualization and personification of concepts that often are as nebulus in definition and understanding as the book we are going to write a year fom now. Yet it is this insubstantial element we have to harness and contain as writers. The more we succeed the better our stories become.

I found myself thinking of this as a writing exercise, to define, personify and emoted (then demonstrate) ideas of our craft that we need to define and engage on a dailey basis. But bringin a unique perspective might bring new insights. This was an exercise I found quite enjoyable. I hope you found it the same and found a few spots to laugh with me.

See the humor within the dogma "normal" changes into inspiration. 

Thank you for your time and attention.

Write well, write often – Read!

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