BUT, as a writer of erotic romance, I often run out of synonyms for vagina. Let's face it, we all thought E.L. James used 'down there' and 'my sex' a few hundred times too many. The problem is that very few of them are sexy. Most are funny or offensive or downright gross and insulting. Euphemisms for female parts are usually:
- food related (fish taco, bacon strips, beef curtain)
- gross (dirty pie, slime slit, stinky pinky)
- references to monthly cycles (gash that never heals, tampon pocket)
- in relation to the penis (dick depot, cock sharpener, tool shed)
- scary (hatchet wound, four-lipped man eater, the abyss)
- strange animal (beaver, bearded clam, fur-back turtle)
No erotic romance writer worth a dime would use any of these. Not that I mind it being thought of as something to be eaten, but the food related ones aren't usually that appetizing. A woman would never refer to her genitalia as anything gross so these type bring to mind the frat boy with no couth. The last thing I want to think of while reading is my 'moon time' (which is the one my grandmother used and my preference in my real life). It is a little insulting to my feminist sensibilities to think of my parts only as they relate to the male counterpart, but that is pervasive. When writing a sexy scene, there is usually at least one of each (so far, I haven't published any purely homosexual scenes, though I have a few menage) and so having correlated euphemisms work. Think sword and sheath. Our nether region is a complicated area so the scary type arise from thinking of it as the unknown. Again, these are used by men, mostly. The strange animal ones are just weird.
Now, I am not one to refer to it in flowery way. Sex is messy and physical and needs descriptive words that portray that but in an attractive way. Here are some of my favorites to use in my books. Please do not take offense – I mean this post as humorous.
Velvet Sheath – because it goes well with flesh sword
Pussy – because she purrs when you pet her
Cunt – now this one gets a lot of women because they think of it as derogatory, but every euphemism is technically derogatory. This is my personal favorite and I often get editing notes that I have overused it. My response, "Hey, I'm taking the word back!"
Channel (or tunnel) – as if it's something just to 'get through'
I will end this with a bit of trivia I discovered while researching this post. Vagina is actually a euphemism! It is the Latin word for "a sheath or scabbard". The technical, medical term for the most intimate and beautiful of female parts isn't really about it, but about the service it provides the penis. If you are outraged about this, there's not much we can do. Some women I know have begun to refer to it as 'yoni'. Yoni is the sanskrit term for vagina. Apparently that ancient language is the only one that has a word for it that isn't degrading. It means the divine passage, womb, and sacred temple. In Hinduism yoni is used in many circumstances as “origin of life” or “divine mother of all”.
Thanks for reading my FIRST EVER BLOG POST. I hope you enjoyed it, or at least haven't written off the entire Romance Troupe as a result of reading it.
Author Natalie Gibson
Book Buy Links
Hateful Burden (Book One of the Carrier Trilogy), a gaslight era horror/paranormal thriller
I am re-releasing this book on May 3rd and there is a very cool unique contest.
Ishtar Bound (Book 1 of Sinnis), a Paranormal Erotic Romance/ Urban Fantasy
Transit of Ishtar (Book 2 of Sinnis)
Ishtar Anomaly (Book 3 of Sinnis)
Ishtar Rising (Book 4 of Sinnis)
Veil of Ishtar (Book 5 of Sinnis)
Claire Cover to Cover (A Mount Haven Quickie), an Erotic Short (BDSM)
Nanny Service (A Mount Haven Quickie)
Blind Furry (A Mount Haven Quickie)