Have you ever really thought you wanted to be a certain thing when you 'grew up' and then once you actually did, you found out it wasn't going to happen? Yes, hi, um that would be me. See I lived, breathed and dreamed of living my life in Montana. On a cattle ranch. With lots and lots of cowboys. Then I married someone who, though I love him dearly, doesn't like animals and that was the end of that.
Well, actually it did happen for a brief period of time and it was as wonderful as I always thought it would be. But here I am, proud mama of 3, happily married and I was stuck. Stuck in the 'What if". Ever been there? Why do I tell you all of this? Well, you see, this is what led me to want to be an author.
I am not one of those people who was born knowing I wanted to be an author. Sure I was highly praised in 6th Grade for my creative writing and Grammar has always come easily for me (the first person who points out a typo or some other error in this post WILL BE SHOT AT SUNRISE!) ;) I have corrected and edited more papers than I can count for roommates and husbands. The biggest thing that led me to writing throughout my entire life though was my grand imagination. I grew up 15 minutes from Disneyland, had my first visit when I was teeny tiny and have always thought Maleficent rocked. Pixie Dust flows through my veins. Now, I had known that I needed to change my expectations out of life for some time but I had to find a way to do so. Last year it finally happened.
I realized that I could put my fabulous imagination to work creating the world as I had wanted to see it by writing about it and I could write about it over and over, never the same way twice. As I started to create my first story both in my mind and in Word, I began to get more and more ideas...story after story started popping up in my brain and I got more and more excited. My wise friend told me that our Muse is like a muscle ~ the more we exercise it, the more she will be of use to us. You know what? She was right! (Thanks Krystal!)
Of course, I had a ton to learn (and still do). I began devouring books again as I had in years past (Thank you Stephanie Meyer for reminding me of how fun it is to read!) I began doing a boatload of book reviews and reading other people's reviews as well. I joined multiple groups - groups on Goodreads, on Yahoo, on Facebook and in real life - my local RWA chapter. I was excited to be on street teams for multiple authors and thrilled to be allowed to review for sites. Through all of this, I met Krystal and was included in The Romance Troupe and met Harlie and became her Admin. I learn from both of them daily as well as the other wonderful authors I have met that I work with. I started watching the authors that I was on Street Teams for - mainly Carrie Ann Ryan, Kellie Kamryn and Emily Guido. I learned from them and from the speakers at my monthly RWA and annual conference meetings. Through all of this, I have seen just how much more I have to learn.
I have also seen however, that I can do this. I can write what I feel inside, put it in ink (okay 1's and 0's) and I can express my feelings on all sorts of topics. My characters can be my therapy. My wonderful husband has told me that if this is what I want to do, who I want to be, he will support me. And so will my girls. I am learning to prioritize and make goals and adjust those goals and not give up. This is a challenging business, a hard business. But it is also a good business with lots of good people in it. And I am one of them and that makes me happy.